dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize