I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
