Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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