walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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