is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
