i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
