About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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