As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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