I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So I just went to clothing optional bar
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
