Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
did i walk over a car last night?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
