some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
