You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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