i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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