I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
