Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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