I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
