Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
