Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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