Sponge bath it is.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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