Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
