I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
