Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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