Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
