remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
