Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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