You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I cut my penus on the lid.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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