worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
