So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
