I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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