We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
honey bunches of taint.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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