her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
