i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
