I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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