yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize