She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
