Your mouth is God's brothel.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
