doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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