good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
NoShamevember. You game?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
