This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
