He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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