i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize