I seem to have left my pride at pride
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
