I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Everyone says I win the strip club
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
