thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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