I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize