Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
