apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
