sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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