you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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