just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
