He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You were trust falling into bushes
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
