wat bout pragnant strippers??
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
