Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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