FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
