Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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