just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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