Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
