dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
