At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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